I’m on at least 3 text strings with other midlife women who ask each other where they are getting their HRT (hormone replacement therapy) patches.
The U.S. is in short supply. My own prescription for the only brand that sticks to my skin is backordered until mid-December, which ain’t going to work for anyone, so I switched to the cream. I hate the cream: it’s messy, inconvenient, doesn’t absorb well, rubs off on clothes, and leaks in luggage. I can’t wait to not use it anymore.
I think the men in charge do not realize it will be a big goddamn deal if all these midlife women can’t get their patches. They are life changing for so many of us. No more flaming hot flashes at the worst times, irritability, sleep problems, mental fog, and that’s just the short list of symptoms.
Also, the FDA has not actually called a national shortage. And yet, they are working with six manufacturers to improve supply. Hmm. Seems like a shortage to me.
BTW, I’m just so sorry our moms didn’t get these pharmaceuticals because some asshole cut off the research in the early 2000s after finding a low risk of cancer. The research was deeply flawed, using an outdated drug and studying women way past the menopausal range (average age of 63). Again, apologies mom.
Women's health is a chaos of information
I’m struggling with all the current deluge of information and advice around women’s health. I feel like I’m being waterboarded by Instagram reels telling me exactly what I should be doing.
The hint is that I must spend 23 hours/week on my health, on top of managing my career, being a parent, maintaining my marriage, keeping up on friendships, and taking care of my house. If I don't, it will all literally go to shit on me: by bones will break, my metabolism will fall of a cliff, and I will never sleep through the night again.
But because I actually only have 4 hours to spend on it, I need to decide what I will and won’t do, and there’s a lot of bs out there for us to wade through.
Here’s the list and what I’ve decided about each thing.
Pounding protein. We need, what, 120 grams a day? I think that’s 5 chicken breasts. There is literally no way to force that much down. You can’t marinade or sautee your way out of the fact that that’s just gross. I want to enjoy my food. I’ll try to increase my protein but I’m not gagging it down at the expense of any of the other joyful things I like to eat.
Heavy lifting. We’re supposed to do heavy weights, low reps. I do not enjoy lifting weights. I do not enjoy being sore the next day. And yet I do think we all need to figure this out because the benefits are substantial, specifically for our metabolism and bone health. It could be weights at home and short YouTube videos (that’s my plan), a personal trainer, and/or a gym membership. Just 3-4 workouts a week, ladies, of 20 minutes each.
Testosterone. I have no testosterone. Zero. The nurse practitioner who helps me with my hormones told I need another cream to address this (for unknown reasons. I sleep ok. I don't need to increase my libido. I definitely don't want black body hair on my arms.) I tried it; it made me feel puffy and bloated. So, for me this is a no. I'm leaving the testosterone supplementation to Hesgeth. It annoys me that my practitioner told me I needed testosterone but didn’t ask me if the symptoms I was having bothered me. It was another false start and waste of money in my healthcare journey.
Peptides. These are all over the place right now. It’s the wolverine mix that’s been recommended to me (BPC-157 and TB-500). BPC 157 can help improve chronic tendon pain, muscle soreness, and joint aches. Yeah, so could yoga and eating better. I'm not convinced. I don’t have an injury to heal and I don’t want o spent another $150/month on top of the gym membership, the hormones, and all that chicken. Also, INJECTIONS. It looks like we don't have a fear of needles anymore.
Supplements. I’m confused about what to take because the list is a mile again. What I know for sure is that we need Vitamin D. Some well-known women’s health practitioners also recommend Creatine, DHEA, magnesium, zinc, and calcium. And why the hell are all these pills so big? Like protein, it's another thing to gag on. I need privacy and a huge glass of water to get them down. Also, I just don’t want a full drawer of vitamins I won’t take. Pass the broccoli; I’m trying that first.
Now the big one:
GLP1s. Yeah, I need to lose weight. I've been fighting with the same 25 pounds all my life. At 55, I don’t need to be my pre-kid weight. A medical professional recently suggested a target that I can live with that is about 10 pounds over that. I know that GLP1s work, but I’m nervous that I would just gain it all right back unless I ‘microdose’ forever. Again, another expense, more needles. Some days I think I’ll try it, because why not, and other days I’m comparing Weight Watchers to Noom and not signing up for either. Most days I just try to have 1 cookie instead of 2 and commit to going to a yoga class. Today I’m a no on GLP1s, but ask me tomorrow. If I do them, I'll write about it.
So what's a girl to do?
Nobody has this figured out. The FDA doesn't, my nurse practitioner doesn't, my friends don’t, and the mid-20's women on Instagram with 100k followers and a discount code definitely don't. Most of us are piecing it together on group texts, trading tips and sending each other memes about chin hair just to keep it light.
So here's where I've landed, for today anyway. I'm keeping the hormones (patch or messy cream, whatever I can get my hands on), taking my vitamin D, eating a little more protein, going to yoga 2x/week, walking everyday, and grudgingly figuring out the weights. Testosterone, peptides, and the vitamin shelf are a hard pass. GLP-1s are a maybe.
But this is really the thing: we must choose carefully what we do with the 4 free hours we have to dedicate to your health. We each need to decide what's worth it for our body, our budget, and our sanity, and let the rest go without guilt.
And please keep sharing what you learn, because those text strings are doing more for women's health right now than most of the dicks in charge.
Also, if you find a pharmacy with Sandoz HRT patches in stock, call me immediately.
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